Fall of 2008, I had just taken out my micro braids and usually after I take braids/weaves out, I would perm my new growth. On this day, I looked at my hair and saw it for was it was; dry, brittle, and my ends were just….horrible. So instead, I looked in the mirror…grabbed a pair of scissors and cut a HUGE chunk of the top of my head. Front and center, yes I did! Mainly to ensure that I wouldn’t change my mind. Outside of my hair looking a hot mess, I cut it because my heart was broken by my “college sweetheart” and I just wanted to look different…and feel different.
After I cut all my hair off, I felt no regret. I didn’t feel ugly or like I did anything crazy…until I stepped foot on my college campus, revealing my new-do to my peers. Walking around campus I received the “OMG! You cut your hair!” & “What made you do that?!” comments. Some inquired with excitement/curiosity, others with underlining judgement and skepticism . Then there were a few…complete jerks. Jerk #1. This guy comes up to me and say’s in all seriousness, “Wow! You’re not even pretty anymore. Why would you do that to yourself?” Jerk #2 This girl began to clown on me in front of her friends saying I wasn’t as cute as they thought and that I can’t have short hair and horrendous eyebrows. Jerk #3 just looked at me and laughed….hysterically.
|Days after my FIRST Big Chop!|
Boy, I felt like I was back in high school. I can’t even front y’all, I went home and cried. Suddenly I became angry with myself. I felt small, and I felt ugly. Around this time it wasn’t cool or a trend to go natural. This is when I the natural hair movement was just beginning. So anyone who went natural during this time, I’m sure felt the heat. For the first time ever, I hated my hair and felt I needed it to be pretty again.
This feeling didn’t last long! lol I just wanted to share with you that the feeling was once there. Me? Ugly? Neverrrrr OH KAY! LOL & I’m upset I allowed them to make me feel that way even for a half a second. As you can see in the image below, I’ve changed my hair a lot. I’ve had locs, combed those out and became a loose natural. Had a baby, my hair fell out forcing me to join the tapered cut family. I transitioned into each style gracefully, and the more I changed my hair, the more I fell in love with it. You mean to tell me, I can Loc it, comb it out and have bra strap, length hair? In its natural state it only looks like I have 2in” of hair, but when I stretch it out it triples in length? WOW! Amazing.
When it comes to hair, especially natural hair we can not compare ourselves to others. In the word of my mentor Nicole Cato, “The comparison game, is a losing game! Be who God made you to be.” This applies to many aspects of life, but today we are talking about hair. Don’t get frustrated if you watch Naptural85’s beach waves tutorial, follow along step by step; only to reveal (in my case) a matted, stiff mess that blew in NOBODY’s wind OKAY! (in my ratchet voice)
Don’t love your hair right now? Here’s how you can begin:
- Accept your hair texture for what it is and learn how to manage it.
- What works for one, may not necessarily work for you, even if you have the same curl pattern.
- Continue to try new products until you come across some that truly work for you. If you buy a product and it doesn’t work, bring it back or toss it. Don’t just keep using it hoping that on day you’re twist outs will turn out different. They won’t.
- Read #1 again.
|My outfit and Hair of the night. Oh I felt super fly!|
I can’t believe I once let hair and a stupid boy, convince me I was ugly. Now, the thought is unbelievably funny!